Fan Fare, What's New, Pussycat?
Here’s where you’ll find TJ photos and stories that don’t fit into any other categories. It is, as its name says, just for fans — and, hopefully, for fun.
2nd (& 3rd) August Question(s) Of The Month: Fans?
Tuesday, August 7th, 2007The posts we got about the Atlantic City shows (below) have prompted us to post a second Question of the Month for August. But, first, an editorial:
The behavior of the fans in AC was outlined briefly in those posts but really didn’t scratch the surface. Between Wednesday, when he arrived at Resorts, and Sunday night after his show, calls and emails we got from fans — fans who were upset and horrified — indicate that Tom was quite literally stalked.
Look, we all know that every fan — every one of us — would like to meet Tom Jones, have a photo with him and feel they have somehow connected. But in Atlantic City last weekend there were fans who followed him wherever they could. They proudly showed off photos of themselves with Tom taken Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights while they strategized about how to get another on Sunday. That’s just greedy. After all, this man sang his heart out for them and they wanted even more.
Saturday night one long-time fan was moved to ask those offenders to step aside so others could have their moment. She was ignored. Rudely. (A not uncommon type of fan interaction these days in every venue, we must note.)
Finally, Sunday night, surveying the scene of sheer “fandemonium” in the restaurant he’d chosen, Tom and his party left without even taking their seats.
We don’t blame him.
This kind of thing didn’t happen years ago when there would be time designated for fans to go backstage after the show, participate in a meet-and-greet and get their moment with Tom. Fans also seemed to be more generous then, too. “You want to go back. Just call……” one fan would tell another and give that fan the number of the gatekeeper. Those who called would be added to the list and all would proceed in an orderly fashion.
There haven’t been these kinds of meet-and-greets in several years and some fans feel compelled to take matters into their own hands. Because of this, in some venues Tom dines while surrounded by security (surely not comfortable but preferable to being constantly interrupted). If he leaves the table to go to the rest room he is likely to be accosted. One fan at Resorts last year almost jumped on his back in her zeal. When another fan told her that Tom looked momentarily frightened when she grabbed him and she could “ruin it” for other fans, she replied, “But I loooove him.” This year, a fan who last year made a gift for Tom that was well-received, announced plans to do the same for the people he was with in Atlantic City — because she apparently thinks that, somehow, a gift will give her entrée to his circle of friends.
Some entertainers still have fan meet-and-greets. We’ve mentioned elsewhere what Barry Manilow and Julio Iglesias do. We know Bruce Willis hosted a fan party in Las Vegas a few years ago and we heard (perhaps not reliably) that he recently had a dinner for fans at the Golden Nugget and gave each of 10 invited fans $1,000 for gambling.
The point is, different entertainers do different things. And there has been much discussion here about that Tom might do. After this weekend in Atlantic City, our first suggestion is that his people speak to the hotel and request these repeat offenders be barred. It’s private property and no one there has the right to harass another person.
(What’s really sad is the fact that these people never stop to look at their own behavior. Otherwise, the worst offenders would not post sincere notes on this site and others commiserating with those who object to the bad behavior.)
When we discussed this issue with a friend who is also a fan and who watched the goings-on in AC last weekend she simply said, “Respect. Everyone should just respect each other.”
So, in light of all that the question is (or, more accurately, “questions are”): What do fans owe the entertainer? And, not incidentally, what do they owe each other?
August 7th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
When I was at his concert in AC. on Sunday night there was a table of women behind me that continued to scream during his act. They also constantly squeezed through people so that they could take pictures and throw their panties on stage. To me it was almost like they were putting on a performance. One that my friends and I did not want to see. They were very annoying. Yes, there were also people trying to get Tom’s attention while he was singing by holding up pictures and asking him to autograph them. I think it’s fun to watch the fan’s get excited, but not to distraction. I feel security should have asked them to sit down. BTW, Tom was a total professional. He continued to sing his heart out. A meet-and-greet would be awesome. Why did he stop doing it? I also think another reason the fans are stalking him more is because of his appearance on the Princess Di tribute.I feel the fans owe Tom the courtesy of allowing him to entertain us. That’s why we’re all there. The fans owe each other the courtesy of enjoying him, uninterrupted!
August 7th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
I have only seen Tom live since late 2005 so am fairly new on the scene. I have met some wonderful fans who have become friends for life, but I have also met some of the most rude and scariest human beings in my life. When I saw Tom at the Pechanga, a deranged fan verbally attacked me and tried to make me move when I was standing at the stage. I politely told her that I was not going anywhere and that if she touched me again, she was going to get a free trip to the moon. This same crazy bit** was at the restaurant where Tom was dining later in the evening and when she approached his table, she was abruptly sent away. She must have looked pretty scary to him, too!! I have been lucky enough to meet Tom and get photos with him, but the one thing I have for him now, more than ever, is respect for his privacy. I know it’s easy for me to have a detached attitude at this point, but this man has no idea of who or what we are when we approach him. Yes, he put himself in the public eye as an entertainer, but I don’t think he signed up to be stalked or disrespected.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
It makes me sad to think that because of these rabid fans that one day Tom will have to be escorted by bodyguards to his room where he will have to stay holed up. He won’t be able to leave his room to eat or enjoy another singer or band. He won’t be able to go for a walk without fearing for his life.
Although I’m sure all of us would love to meet him and have the occasion to speak to him, this is a very scary situation.
He should be left alone to eat and enjoy his tablemates company. It all reminds me of another very famous and adored entertainer who couldn’t leave his house for fear of lunatic fans!
I believe for the most part that Tom fans are wonderful people who love to share his music. It’s only a few bad apples that might ruin it for the rest of us.
August 8th, 2007 at 3:33 am
I have loved Tom since I first saw him on his old tv show This is Tom Jones. when I finally saw him in person I, of course, like so many others, was mesmerized. But I did actually meet up with him at one point when he was going to the gym at Bally’s in Las Vegas. He was escorted by his security and I knew that, but I also respected his privacy. I politely said “hello” and told him, “Tom, great show!” He appreciated that.
We all have to remember the one thing we owe him is his privacy, he’s entitled to it like we are. If the man can’t go to a restaurant without being stalked by some crazy fan (if you want to call them that) its a very said commentary! Like other’s have said, those who rudely interrupted and distracted him during his shows in A.C (which I witnessed) should have been escorted out promptly.
August 8th, 2007 at 7:13 am
I was at his show in AC Sunday night. It was a great show. Our seats were close to the stage but many times during the evening, we had to adjust our seats to see him as there were people who thought nothing of coming down and standing in front of us. I do feel that security should stop this. I think it is terrible that Tom was stalked by fans and could not even have dinner. He gives us 110% of himself during the shows – let him have his private time. After his shows in AC there are always a group of people who wait to see where he is eating so that they go into the same restaurant and just watch him. I think this is sad. We all would like to meet him and if it is meant to meet him we will. Let’s hope he comes back to AC after this mess. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t.
August 8th, 2007 at 7:27 am
I have to agree with Elaine. The class of people in A.C. sometimes leaves a little to be desired. Leave the man alone after his show! He deserves to eat and relax with his people and not be stalked by the same group that we seem to see there all the time lurking about and looking like they want to pounch on him in the halls. It is quite embarrassing for those of us who live in New Jersey.
August 8th, 2007 at 10:17 am
There is no excuse for bad fan behavior. Whenever I attend a show at which distractions become overwhelming, I think to myself, “didn’t we all pay the same price for our ticket”? Apparently some people in AC Sunday evening felt that their ticket was worth more than mine, and that gave them the right to obstruct my view more often than not. Security did not step up to the plate once to even try to restore order. Again a Resorts issue. As for Tom’s unfortunate dining situation, I’m no rocket scientist, nor do I have a degree in hotel management or event planning, but wouldn’t you think Resorts would have a better plan for accommodating an international super star who happens to be their headliner when he wants to dine in privacy? Resorts is one of the older and smaller hotel/casinos in AC and there are only three choices for fine dining. Considering we have to get in line very early to get a decent seat, most fans choose to dine after the show as well. So obviously fans will be seated in the same restaurant that Tom’s party chooses. Again fans need to be respectful of his private life, but if I were the manager of the restaurant and a celebrity had a reservation I would bend over backwards to insure that privacy even if it meant setting up a partition and using security. On this issue, in my opinion Resorts dropped the ball yet again.
August 8th, 2007 at 11:36 am
I think Mary is letting the fans who behave so badly off way too easily. People are still responsible for their own actions and should not be excused. Remember that saying about two wrongs? For years fans on this site and other forums have been asking in an organized manner with letters, petitions, etc. for some kind of way to meet Tom and there’s been no response. But the way these people are behaving wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) encourage him or his management to change the policy. I suggest fans clean up their own acts before they make any attempt to change the way things are done.
August 8th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I have noticed that behaviour at concerts has degenerated markedly over the years: it used to be the case that no one would try to approach the stage or call out during a song – they would wait for a break in the performance. Not any more. It all comes down to good manners really – or the lack of them. Some people don’t seem to care when their behaviour crosses a boundary and becomes unacceptable. The antics of certain so-called ‘fans’ in Atlantic City were clearly beyond the pale and to hear of Tom – a superstar, a sublime talent, a Knight of the Realm, not to mention a true gentleman with impeccable manners – being treated with such flagrant disrespect makes me absolutely furious. I know it was particularly bad last weekend but sadly it’s becoming all too widespread and is frequently no better here in the UK. What happened to acting with dignity and decorum? And where has the common sense gene gone ? Tom sings his socks off for us night after night and the very least he can expect is to be able to eat a meal without some rabid female pouncing on him every minute to demand a photo. I know it’s only a minority that does this – it’s always been so – but unfortunately this sort of conduct just serves to give some members of Tom’s management team even more justification to treat his fans with disdain. So depressing.
August 8th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I’m so glad I wasn’t there. I agree with Audrey that Resorts has to shoulder 1/3 of the blame. I don’t think Resorts appreciates what they are dealing when it comes to TJ because he’s been there so many times. He needs a venue that can accommodate his multi-generational fan base, as well as people that may be extremely drunk or angry from losing money at the Casino….that actually does take a lot of planning, expertise and professionalism.
Another 1/3 of the blame goes to the “fans” who are really not fans but rather party-goers. True fans would conduct themselves with behavior befitting a Knight. I read that Faith Hill stopped a concert because someone tried to grab Tim McGraw’s package. I don’t blame her. Their music is not the type that should be inciting mosh pit behavior.
The final 1/3 goes to Tom’s management who doesn’t respond to fan requests. Good managers would have fantastic people like Ellen & Ursula handling that.
How’s that for equitable distribution of fault?
August 9th, 2007 at 3:07 am
Marisa, you hit the nail on the head! My husband and I had planned to be there Sat. nite but couldn’t make it. Once or twice a year is it and we would have been so disappointed if our chance to see Tom was ruined by the disrespectful “goings on.” Hope your breakdown of fault is duly noted!
August 9th, 2007 at 3:34 am
Is anyone seeing Tom in Las Vegas? Maybe we can get an update on the goings-on there as well.
August 9th, 2007 at 9:31 am
We will be seeing Tom on Saturday night at the MGM, even though my darling husband fell from a tree (while cutting branches) and broke his ankle 4 days ago. He’s a GREAT sport to go ahead with the trip and the concert! We’ve not ever seen Tom in AC and it sounds like we’ll stick with Las Vegas. I’ll give an update once we return. Very excited!
August 9th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Just a lowly comment about all this melee in AC. What would Tom think if there were NO fans around after his shows? I am sure it was far worse in his earlier years with hordes of females following him, i.e., some of the younger stars of today. The paparazzi must have stopped years ago in following him/his concerts, and look at the havoc they cause the stars of today. I would certainly love to see more news on Tom, but where are the reporters who write about the music scene? I certainly understand the disgust about the crazies, but I do think Tom would be disappointed if no one approached him at all.
Mary, good idea to approach Tom’s management about meet-and-greets. When I saw Elton John earlier this year, he took quite a bit of time signing fan items from the stage.
August 9th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Marian, WELL SAID, my sentiments exaclty!
August 9th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Unfortunately the distinction between what we called above “fandemonium” and fans merely approaching Tom to ask for a photo or autograph is very clear. We cannot believe that Tom would miss what went on in AC, no sane person would. We’ve all been to plenty of shows where poeple waited for the performer; shows where fans were unkind to each other. But what happened last weekend was ridiculous and should in no way be excused. Yes, the hotel is a mess. Yes, Tom’s organization should be more responsive, but to even think about excusing the behavior of those fans is unconscionable. There simply and absolutely is no excuse for these people and we wish there were a way to prevent them from spoiling everyone else’s time.. They do not have the right to do what they did.
August 9th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Okay, so I haven’t been to any concert quite like has been described. I wasn’t sanctioning any of that type behavior. In an “ideal world,” we could write the hotel and make some suggestions as have been made on this forum, and then we would get a reply, but that is in an “ideal world.” I have heard complaints about the locale in AC for some years now. It would seem Tom’s management would demand a better inhouse security…and so should we!!! Or is it back to the bodyguards of the old days??!!
August 9th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
I’ve been to Vegas and other shows. Yes I have met Tom in Vegas and elsewhere. As a fan if I see Tom anywhere I would love to say hello or even ask for an autograph or even a photo. But I also know when to draw the line. If I saw Tom today yes I would say hello ask for an autograph and a picture. If I bump into him the next day I would not ask for anything I would just wave or something like that. Yes I do believe Tom would be disappointed if no one approached him at all. I also think there is a time where he does not want to be bothered with the same fans that have been stalking him 3 days in a row. Wouldn’t anyone get annoyed? That’s just plain selfish. Let other fans have a chance.
I’ve met some great friends in Vegas who were not selfish rude nor stalkers, just a couple of fans who went to see the Best Singer Ever (that’s my opinion.) and enjoy a girls’ night out. Wish all of TJ’s fan could be like them. Some so-called fans just have to ruin it for others.
August 11th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I will be at the September 22 show in Vegas. I feel it is an honor to be able to see a live performance of Tom Jones. We need to remember that he has another life. His music is a gift that he shares with us. I think music is one of his passions but certainly not the only passion.He should be able to have a meal without being attacked. Seeing him perform is enough for me. If you put yourself in his family’s shoes, how would you feel? I know that he has a choice to perform or not, but we as fans should show Tom and his family the respect that they deserve I will be a fan for as long as my ears will let me hear his beautiful voice. Look forward to the show in September.
August 12th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
I went with my mom to AC to see Tom and his show was the greatest…I have been a fan of his since he started singing in the United States..I would see him every single time he is in AC…I want to know which album has the song about “I just want a little bit”…Thank you Maria
August 13th, 2007 at 8:34 am
Maia: It’s called Git Me Some and hasn’t been recorded. The original, by a terrific blues singer called Earl Thomas, is available on iTunes.
August 25th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
I was very lucky in Vegas to have the honor of receiving Mr. Jones’ autograph and he spent a little time with me. I have been a fan since I was seven. I was polite and didn’t get pushy or greedy!!! All of the ladies I was with acted in the same manner. However, this is not always the case. I saw some very inappropriate behavior when it came to Mr. Jones. Thankfully, he does not put everyone in the same basket. If that were the case everyone would suffer! He is kind and thoughtful toward his fans even when he is not well. He deserves the same back. To say you love him is one thing but, remember, actions speak louder than words!
August 25th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
I could not agree more!!! Let’s respect each other and give something back to Sir Tom for all he has given us over the years. It would be a real shame for the fans who want to meet Tom and who would be polite and respectful if he were forced to stop making time for a photo or an autograph due to bad behavior by others. Being polite and patient worked wonders for me, believe me.
August 29th, 2007 at 6:53 am
I think a “Meet ‘n ‘Greet” with TOM backstage is a wonderful way to get a little BIT of his time and for TOM also to meet his fans. Why did they stop it??? And I do like the “Golden Nugget Dinner” idea too, hahaha. Well, maybe an organized get together could stop the stalking!?! I’m sure that TOM likes the appreciation of his fans recognizing him and saying hello. But, pleeeaaassseee, asking for a picture three days in a row???? Or an unbelievable behavior like “almost jumping on his back?????” That’s scary. I’m surprised that TOM is still dining out after his shows!!!!!
August 30th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I can’t believe my ears almost jumping on his back !!!!!thats not what I call a fan ,selfish stupid dangerous is what comes to mind.May be Tom should employ women bodyguards ps I would guard him for free
August 30th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
You buy a ticket to hear tom sing and that is all you are entitled to any thing else is a bonus very special
September 27th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Well, first off, I wouldn’t call these people you speak of in AC “fans.” They are obsessive crazies. I have some first-hand knowledge of these types of folks.
Back in the 70′s and early 80′s I ran a fan club for Tom in California. I decided to start my own for obvious reasons (my admiration for Tom, etc.), but the other big reason was how some of the other fan club pres’ were so possessive. Back in the day, Lloyd Greenfield would allow meet and greets backstage before or after shows and he would ask how many would be in your group. I alway took a couple of new members with me each time…it was only fair! I had been told so many times that only the same people would be allowed backstage and I found out later that that was absolutely not true. I felt that Tom appreciated seeing new people as they asked new questions and really appreciated the opportunity to have a photo with Tom. But, I always told these ladies to act with dignity and have respect for Tom because I was afraid that if something odd happened, that these backstage visits would end. I always had a nice visit, usually with three or four other groups of people…most of them fans, some were high-rollers (in Vegas and Lake Tahoe).
To make a long story shorter, I did this for a while and had a great time and MOST of the people I dealt with were great people — as you all are here. We had fun going to concerts and corresponding by mail and phone before this wonderful internet. Then, in the mid- 80′s things started to get strange and weird with these obsessive crazies. I would get phone calls late at night asking about Tom…I would get strange correspondence.
Once before a concert I felt that one of these people sounded a bit unstable so I notified Tom’s people that I was concerned for Tom and I remember that night going backstage that security was a bit tighter and we had to show ID (driver’s licenses) to get backstage. After that, with a heavy heart and tears, I threw in the towel. Just as fan club president, mind you, I never stopped being a fan. So, who is to know what has happened over the years. Maybe there are things going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about that is keeping Tom’s people from having meet and greets?! But, after looking at these threads, it seems that there are some people getting backstage for photo ops. Again, this is just my perspective and I look back now and realize that these folks had an effect on my life and my fan club….I regret giving it up.
I miss being able to see Tom backstage and have a photo and bring new folks to meet him. It was a joy. … With that said, I can’t imagine what it is like for Tom and his people to deal with these people on a daily basis. That’s my take on it…..thanks for the chance to vent!